Sadly, we're too old for trick-or-treating. As a result, Halloween as an #adult means we're swapping out candy for cocktails. Candy-corn Jell-O shot cocktails, to be exact. Although if we're being really honest, I'd rather trick-or-treat at 26 than have a night like this.
As we reminisce about the good old days, when October 31 was the MOST magical day of the year, the same conversation seems to come up. Well, it's more of a heated debate or full-on argument — and it's all about candy rankings. Bring up your favorite candy (REESE'S) and somebody is bound to go head-to-head with you on the merits of a Kit Kat.
After Gordon Ramsay chronicled (or rather screamed) his least favorite Halloween candy eats on late-night TV, I was inspired to rate all the candies that showed up in my jack-o'-lantern bucket as a kid, once and for all. Ahead, find all the go-to Halloween candy, ranked from best to worst. Shoutout your favorites (or where you completely disagree) in the comments.
Reese's
Hands down, this is the best of the bunch. I don't care if they're ghost-shaped, a handful of minis, or a single-serve regular-sized cup. Chocolate stuffed with peanut butter wins, every single time.
Caramel Apple Pops
For some inexplicable reason, these are only around during the fall months, which, in turn, makes them even more delicious. Caramel coating, plus tangy apple hard candy makes for one lollipop I will never outgrow.
Snickers
Snickers bars caused a major office rift when I brought them up at work. Everyone can agree that Snickers are a Halloween stronghold, but no can can agree on what the best part is — the peanuts, nougat, or caramel.
Sour Patch
My top 10 has a lot of chocolate going on (as it should), but there's nothing like a handful of piercingly sour gummy candies to break up the creamy-on-creamy marathon. I could argue about the best flavor all day long (ahem, it's green), but that's a topic for another day.
M&M's
Our one problem with fun-sized bags of M&M's? One packet is NEVER enough.
Kit Kat
Chance The Rapper makes a good case for making this classic cool again, but in my book, Kit Kats will never get old.
Skittles
Skittles are always worth trading for, especially if there’s a sour or tropical mini baggie up for grabs!
Bottle Caps
Okay, I'm going to get a lot of flack for this one, but I'm totally okay with it. These were COMPLETELY worth it just for the cola and root beer flavors.
Jolly Ranchers
A toss-up, for sure. As a young trick-or-treater, if you gave me a Jolly Rancher pop, I was all in. If you gave me a single Jolly Rancher, well, those just end up getting lost in the bucket and one of them ends up unwrapping, creating a gross sticky layer on everything else.
Warheads
Nothing like a good-old-fashioned "how many Warheads can you put in your mouth at once" competition to end a successful night of trick-or-treating.
Milky Way
Yes, yes, I know Milky Ways are just Snickers missing an ingredient. But I love them all the same. And that dark-chocolate version makes it completely worth hoarding a bag.
Three Musketeers
I like Three Musketeers almost as much as I like Milky Ways. I completely understand that as a coworker put it, "They're just filled with the fluff!"
Milk Duds
I will forever think of these as a movie candy, but they're a solid variety-pack find.
Nerds
Of course whether or not you enjoy your box of nerd depends on the flavor, but as long as it's not grape, everything is A-OKAY.
Crunch
Crunch bars are generally underrated, but they do kind of get lost in the shuffle of all the other assorted fun-sized chocolate bars.
Twix
While the left Twix vs. right Twix controversy is truly a feat of marketing genius, Twix bars are left to a similar fate as Crunch Bars when they're surrounded by a slew of other candy.
Starburst
Another Jolly Rancher dilemma. I'm all for eating a regular-sized pack of Starburst (although we secretly wish for flavor-specific options), but having to randomly grab individual pieces that never end up being your fave flavor pushes these to a lower rank.
Runts
I'm guessing most people would prefer that these were at the very bottom, but I always appreciated getting mini box of Runts in my Halloween stash. Yes, I like the banana flavor and yes, you can immediately start questioning the merits of this entire ranking.
Airheads
I love these, but not as much for eating as I do for shaking them until they turn into perfect candy pillows.
Smarties
Smarties are a clever treat to give kids when they do well in school (Get it?!), but other than that, these candies are pretty much circles of sugary sidewalk chalk.
Pixy Stix
I almost forgot about Pixy Stix entirely when compiling my top-to-bottom candy list, so that pretty much says it all.
Whoppers
These were always the parent candy — you know, the candy that your parents would "help" take off your hands. And it didn't really bother you, because you didn't want them, anyway.
Baby Ruth
In theory, these are pretty much the same concept as Snickers, but for some reason, they always end up in the giveaway pile.
Almond Joy
Sorry, coconut fans, but this is a pass. Right alongside its cousin, Mounds.
Mike & Ike
What do people see in you, strangely shaped jelly beans?
Dots
What's the point?
Tootsie Fruit Rolls
There is nothing worse than a house that made you take individual tootsie rolls — except for when you pulled a FRUIT-flavored one. You might as well just hand out pennies at that point.
Raisinets
Sorry to all the Raisinets fans out there, but this isn't candy. It's chocolate-covered fruit. Tasty in its own right, sure, but it's not candy. People who handed out Raisinets are the ones who opened the door to people giving out plain-old raisins on Halloween — and that is completely unacceptable.
Obscure Wrapped Candies
There's nothing worse than getting a handful of completely random assorted candy. It's like grabbing a handful of sweets from that bowl at grandma's house that have probably been sitting there untouched since before you were born.
Photographed by Elizabeth Buxton ;).
Candy Corn
No explanation needed. WHY is candy corn even a thing? Although I recently learned pairing the sugary kernels with Moscato is a combo worth trying. But in all other cases, AVOID.
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