Don't get us wrong — we're all for being smart with our money. But that doesn't mean we don't like to check out some splurge-worthy items now and then, especially when those items may just improve our sex lives.
Hey, if Gwyneth Paltrow thinks it's worth it to shill a $15,000 24-karat gold dildo, clearly we're not alone in this fascination. When the actress discussed her favorite sex toys on goop last spring, we were exposed to a whole world of luxury vibrators, massagers, and more — and this world goes way beyond that aforementioned gold dildo.
So we decided to round up more sex toys with jaw-dropping price tags, from a 24-karat gold-plated clitoris stimulator to a glass butt plug with a real fur tail. In a weird way, some of their price tags make sense. (If a vibrator has nearly 30 diamonds in it, it's going to be expensive.) But there are some that left us scratching our heads (a bullet that goes for $245 better be really good at its job).
Click through to browse some of the most expensive sex toys out there. Did we miss your favorite luxury toy? Let us know in the comments.
This 24-karat gold massager is a particularly luxurious pick for temperature play. And if you're going through a frugal phase, the stainless steel version of the YVA is only $2,890.
LELO, $3900.00, available at LELOPhoto: Courtesy of Lelo.
Practice your kegels in style with these weighted agate stone Ben Wah balls.
Luz De La Riva, $500.00, available at Enchanted PleasuresPhoto: Courtesy of Enchanted Pleasures.
Even at $675, these dainty-as-can-be cuffs are probably better for show and not for actually restraining anyone.
Agent Provocateur, $675.00, available at Agent ProvocateurPhoto: Courtesy of Agent Provocateur.
Wear this ring on your thumb and index finger and let the metal plating in-between bring a whole new sensation to your touch. Or, you know, use it as an accessory for your Christina Aguilera Halloween costume.
Betony Vernon, $1350.00, available at Betony VernonPhoto: Courtesy of Betony Vernon.
This gold-plated vibrator holds up to 16 GB of data and its "battery intelligence" alerts you to how much charge is left when you turn it on.
Crave, $349.00, available at BabelandPhoto: Courtesy of Crave.
Let's be fair: You should probably be willing to splurge a bit when shopping for a suspended sex swing. Safety comes first, after all.
Hawthorne Lifestyle, $575.00, available at trystologyPhoto: Courtesy of Trystology.
For the same price as an entire sex swing, you can buy a one-of-a-kind, silver cock ring, delivered in a lamb's wool-lined leather pouch.
Luz De La Riva, $575.00, available at Enchanted PleasuresPhoto: Courtesy of Enchanted Pleasures.
In a world where the price of most bullet vibrators stay within double digits, isn't a $245 option kind of refreshing? No, just us?
Svakom, $245.00, available at Enchanted PleasuresPhoto: Courtesy of Enchanted Pleasures.
The Eroscillator boasts multiple attachments and an endorsement from Dr. Ruth.
Eroscillator, $499.00, available at LovehoneyPhoto: Courtesy of Trystology.
This vibrator is designed to conform to the curves of your body and hit your G-spot with precision. Cheaper vibes can do that, too, but this one can also heat up to 107 degrees. Tempted yet?
LAmourose, $207.99, available at LovehoneyPhoto: Courtesy of Lovehoney.
Made from natural volcanic ash stone, hand-poured, and crafted in Argentina, this dildo is the definition of artisanal.
Luz De La Riva, $345.00, available at Enchanted PleasuresPhoto: Courtesy of Enchanted Pleasures.
This vibrator's gold band and hourglass shape scream luxury. This is what we imagine a Disney princess' vibrator would look like.
Coco de Mer, $249.99, available at LovehoneyPhoto: Courtesy of Lovehoney.
As gorgeous as this lace blindfold is, it seems like you'd have to physically close your eyes for it to have any real effect.
Agent Provocateur, $335.00, available at Agent ProvocateurPhoto: Courtesy of Agent Provocateur.
This handcrafted, customizable (bulb size and length) glass butt plug is adorned with real black fox fur — which will require some upkeep.
Crystal Delights, $119.95, available at Crystal DelightsPhoto: Courtesy of Crystal Delights.
This pure platinum vibrator features a band of 28 circle-cut diamonds around the tip, and Babeland reports it's a favorite of Kate Moss.
Jimmy Jane, $3250.00, available at BabelandPhoto: Courtesy of Babeland.
This prostate massager vibrates, rotates, and is remote-controlled, offering up plenty of stimulating partner or solo play possibilities
Nexus, $249.99, available at LovehoneyPhoto: Courtesy of Lovehoney.
Sorry, science is here to say that no amount of money will ever make a "pheromone perfume" worth it.
AgarscentsBazaar, $149.95, available at EtsyPhoto: Courtesy of Etsy.
This butt plug is so fancy, Lelo calls it a "gentlemen's plug" and comes with a matching pair of cufflinks. We'd bet good money that this is James Bond's plug of choice.
LELO, $2590.00, available at LELOPhoto: Courtesy of Lelo.
This toy delivers vibration and suction to the clitoris, simulating a highly realistic take on oral sex.
Womanizer, $219.00, available at BabelandPhoto: Courtesy of Babeland.
Reviewers have called this dildo "mind-blowing" and "amazing," which, if you're in the market for a well-made, 11-inch dildo, might make it worth it.
Tantus, $241.00, available at TantusPhoto: Courtesy of Tantus.
Lube can cost a pretty penny if you buy it in bulk, but 200 packets of long-lasting lube is really just a smart investment, if you ask us.
Sliquid, $375.00, available at trystologyPhoto: Courtesy of Trystology.
The Njoy Eleven is stainless steel, dual-ended, and arrives in a classy leather pouch.
Njoy, $310.00, available at NjoyPhoto: Courtesy of Njoy.
VelvOr describes the King Cobra as "the most exclusive cock ring on its globe." Considering it takes 100 hours for an award-winning master silversmith to make one by hand, we won't argue.
Velvor, $175520.00, available at VelvorPhoto: Courtesy of Velv'Or.
This luxurious take on the Rabbit packs a lot of power into its sleek design.
LELO, $239.00, available at LELOPhoto: Courtesy of Lelo.
As important as it is to have a blanket handy to catch any lubes or liquids during sex, wouldn't you rather use something you don't care about instead of a nearly $200 throw?
Embrace Desires, $199.00, available at Embrace DesiresPhoto: Courtesy of Embrace Desires.
This kit comes with 10 instruments that offer a wide variety of sensations. Its sleek attaché case will make you feel like the sexiest spy around.
Pure Pleasure, $349.85, available at Pure PleasurePhoto: Courtesy of Pure Pleasure.
This luxury chaise comes with a free position guide for inspiration — at least picturing the guide as a freebie might soften the price tag's blow.
Liberator, $560.00, available at trystologyPhoto: Courtesy of Trystology.
With a flogger at one end and a wooden dildo for a handle, this toy is really a twofer.
NobEssence, $320.00, available at NobEssencePhoto: Courtesy of Coco de Mer.
Inspired by jewelry from the Roman empire and studded with real sapphires, this cock ring is fit for royalty — or at least someone who thinks of themselves as such.
Esculpta, $548.00, available at Enchanted PleasuresPhoto: Courtesy of Enchanted Pleasures
In the understatement of a lifetime, Gwyneth called this $15,000 dildo "not-so-basic." Well, we'd have to agree with her.
LELO, $15000.00, available at LELOPhoto: Courtesy of Lelo.Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
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