The first thing I did when my now-ex-boyfriend and I broke up was remove his location from my iPhone's Find My app. I knew that if I waited any longer to do it, I'd likely be tempted to check on his location... which would only result in a masochistic cyber-stalking rabbit hole. It was for the best. If you, like me, have all your friends' location information accessible to you at all times on your iPhone, you also know that it's a bit of a fickle dance.
Thanks to Find My, there's no getting past me if you say you're home sick when, in actuality, you lied because you're at a party I wasn't invited to. Which is just to say: Find My Friends is the ideal breeding ground for friend drama. And apparently, I'm not alone in feeling this way. Ahead, cautionary tales of the getting-caught-lying-about-your-whereabouts variety. "When I was hooking up with a Bad Dude my sophomore year of college, if I was at his house and my close friends saw it on Find My Friends, they would text me to ask why the fuck I was still seeing him. Another friend of mine stayed close with her ex after they broke up and kept him on Find My Friends, and she was constantly turning her location off when going to frats because otherwise he would FaceTime her or spam her with texts asking why she was at a frat and was she hanging out with other boys even though they were fully broken up and who she was hanging out with was no longer his business." — Caroline, 21"My best friend and I had plans to get breakfast, but when it came time to go I was not in the mood. I have depression and anxiety and sometimes she just doesn't get how hard it is to force yourself to be social, and I was not in the headspace to explain it to her, so I lied and told her my family was doing something together and that I was already on my way there. I totally forgot she had my location and she nailed me for bailing last minute. I honestly felt like it was an invasion of my privacy, and while I acknowledge that bailing last minute and lying is not cool, I did it for reasons that were very personal." — Sara, 20"My now-ex-boyfriend came over to tell me he was going home to his parents because he was having a mental breakdown. He actually didn't leave his own apartment for days or go to work (he worked from home A LOT) and then when I called him out on it, he told me I was wrong. We broke up a few days later." — Margaret, 26"So, I dated this guy for nine months and honestly — most of it was a complete dumpster fire. It was a really toxic relationship for both of us, but we still loved each other and worked hard before we decided to call it quits for good (a good thing, but when it first happened I struggled hardcore). When he and I dated, I made a really good friend by way of him. She and I shared locations after one drunken night where we were trying to locate each other, and I guess we just forgot about it. Two days after my ex and I broke up, I was scrolling Find My Friends and I saw the girl was at my ex's apartment.
"This was suspect, as they never went to each others' houses and were really just friends in group situations. I put my crazy pants on and drove by and, ugh, looked through his window to find them having sex on the couch. My heart was broken and I felt utterly betrayed by them, especially because for months she told me to end it with him and I felt like she only really said that so she could make her move. Moral of the story, don't befriend people who would ever betray your trust, and probably don't drive to your ex's after you break up to stalk them." — Grace, 22"I had a close group of friends in college who all followed each other obsessively. We also lived within walking distance of each others' houses. A guy in the group and I started hanging out alone. We liked each other a lot and wanted to make out... but no one else had a clue. One night we were watching a movie and moving closer to each other when three of the girls from the group walked into my house. They saw that we were hanging out on Find My Friends and just figured we forgot to invite them. Why would we want to hang out alone?!" — Carly, 25"Most of my family members have Find My Friends turned on. I never really thought much of it until the day of my brother's accident. My younger brother worked about 20 minutes away. He was just out of high school and my mom would occasionally check his location to make sure he made it to work on time. One day she noticed he was in the same spot on the map for five to 10 minutes. It turns out he had been in a bad car accident. An uninsured driver pulled out in from of him on a country road. Car totaled. Very scary! Luckily he was okay, but Find My Friends was the first indicator that something bad had happened." — Kristyn, 30"I moved in with my long-term boyfriend while I was a junior in college. He had never really had to work because his parents paid his rent and supported him in most every way. He eventually decided to get a job at a restaurant for spending money. He hated working so much that he quit his job but was too afraid to tell me. He would leave the apartment at the usual times he worked and gave me no reason to think he wasn’t going to work.
"One night he was texting me more than he usually did from work, and I asked why. He said that it was just slow and he was texting me when his boss wasn’t around. Something told me he was lying. I checked his location and realized that he was hiding at his parents' house. I confronted him and he admitted that he had quit his job with no notice a week before, because it was just 'too much.' Needless to say, I dumped him a week later." — Daisy, 21"My boyfriend and I decided to try long distance over summer break after our spring semester of college ended. I had a suspicion that he was cheating on me, so I looked up the house he was frequenting. I Googled the address and found out it was his ex’s house. I confronted him over text and he admitted to cheating on me with her. He still doesn’t know how I found out." — Liz, 20"I shared my location with a friend back in college so we could easily meet up and hang out. We live in different states now, but she still uses the app to monitor my location — for example, if I don't answer her texts or calls quick enough, she'll text me something like 'I know you're home right now' or 'I know you're not at work.' It's super weird, but I know if I no longer share my location with her, she'll notice and say something!" — Erin, 23"One of my college roommates was hooking up with a good friend of mine and wasn't telling anyone. She would turn her location off, go on ghost mode on Snapchat, leave her phone at home, and sneak out in the middle of the night to go to his place. She only told us about it months after the fact. More recently, the same friend has been lying about hanging out and hooking up with her little brother's best friend.
"We're graduated now and all live in different cities, but one of my friends saw on Find My Friends that she was in our city, where she DOES NOT live! My local friend texted me and I checked Snapchat — and lo and behold, she's with her little brother's BFF on the Snapchat map! She didn't tell anyone she was in our city, and she didn't tell anyone after! Five of my friends got on a group FaceTime to discuss and watch as their locations moved down the highway, across state lines, and to her home. Shady, shady." — Liz, 22"A few years ago my best friend and I were on a work trip with about 40 of our colleagues. On the chartered flight back, I got drunk and cozy with one of the directors and we decided to go out for drinks when we got back to the airport. My best friend asked what I was doing after we landed, and I lied and said that I was going home, knowing that she would want an invite if I said I was going out for drinks. She then proceeded to check my location once she got home, and was very upset to find out I was indeed not home. I ditched her for a dude! It ended up being a terrible evening with soooo many lessons learned." — Kristin, 30"I am in college, and I normally FaceTime my mom at night before I go to sleep even if I go out. Well, I went back to a guy's house after a night out and at around 3 a.m. she FaceTimed me, surprised I hadn't called her yet since the bars close at 2 a.m. The next morning I called her back once I was home, and apparently she had tracked me. All she asked was how my night was, with a knowing smile." — Emily, 21
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